Caveat emptor: the no help desk

The transcript of a one-sided conversation with a less than helpful help desk.

What do you mean there is nothing you can do for me?

Well, yes I understand you sell dresses that you want to make women look there best in them.

That is all very well, but there was no warning as to the effect it would have on a man.

Well, yes, of course it was in womenswear, dresses tend to be, but crossdressers still wear them.

Well, er, no, I didn’t read the washing instructions label.

How stupid is that? I didn’t need to wash it until I put the dress on.

But I don’t want to be a woman. I just want to dress up like one on occasions.

Why on earth would I want to dress as a man occasionally instead?

This is ridiculous!

In that case you will be hearing from my solicitor.